SHARK!!! Okay, now that I’ve scared Grant away, I can tell you the truth about our fears—his and mine.
Cows:
While adored by many for their colorful markings, complacent demeanor, and grass-grazing laziness, there is a darker side—a side not seen by all but by a select few of us who have the keen sense to see past those big brown eyes. What we see is a vast, cavernous void—vacant of thought, contention, and scrutiny. They have no soul; they are the devil’s children. Mindless automatons without a notion of what it is to be alive. Arguably, this can be said for many animals; but how many animals can you recognize to take no joy in life? Dogs and cats will frolic and show pleasure and pain, vermin too (yes, I’ve seen calves being playful; but only to do battle like Klingons). I think you would see a pleasuring mean-streak in a snake if you could see the smirk on their pointing faces. But cows have no joy. Why? Because a long time ago, they sold their souls for some cud to chew on—I don’t know.
Sharks:
Sharks are scary. Living on the Central Coast of California, I’m aware of the threat they pose. But in most cases, if you leave them alone, they will do the same. (I said ‘most’). They are unpredictable, and territorial; but do they have a soul? Grant’s fear is of violence and the threat of being eaten alive. That is a valid fear as much as the fear of a plain crash or being buried alive. However, his fear prevents him from sticking one little toe in the ocean, panic stricken that a shark will beach itself to take his leg.
So what am I afraid of? A cow isn’t going to eat me, right? I’m afraid of the hollowness below. I’m afraid of what they lack and what they represent. Anyone can be afraid of death, I’m afraid of what’s beyond; and cows represent that for me. I’m not so much afraid for myself, but for the large number of people in the world who have not yet discovered their soul and those who have chosen to disregard it. I’m not alone in my fears, either. The creators of South Park would have you believe that cows are evil aliens.
Mooooo….
4 comments:
Grant's a wuss. Sharks are sweet.
I would like to point out that not only do sharks possess the ability (and the relentless drive) to cause pain and death, but they also have an equally if not more menacing vacancy about their eyes. So if cows have "sold their souls" to the devil, then sharks have given them over freely.
It would also behoove (pun intended) you to remember that sharks are among the most ancient creatures on Earth, so it's likely that they are the devil's spawn. Cows, on the other hand, have only been around (as we know them) for a mere four hundred years; they haven't had a chance to become evil.
And, yes, I will gladly take the title of wuss if it means I'll get to keep my toes; I'm very fond of them.
You wouldn't lose your toes to a shark. They're more... thigh and stomach, and arm creatures. :)
I rest my case. :)
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